Tuesday night was the 2010 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, aka. Amazons on Parade. 5 girlfriends and I got into our cozies and stocked up on food and drink, with many corresponding dips and mixes and prepared for the big show. It's always advisable to watch these sorts of spectacles with at least one other girlfriend, so that if you start spiralling into depression, the other one can remind you of vital details, such as "none of these girls are from North America" and "all they do every day is work out and eat green leafy vegetables", as you take down half a pumpernickel loaf with spinach dip.
The "Angels" were all, as per usual, pretty adorable, and seem to get along with each other surprisingly well, as proven through multiple shots of them dancing backstage with each other while official "glitter throwers" shower them every 2 minutes in clouds of fairy dust. Makeup artist Tom Pecheux and hair stylist Sam McKnight were enlisted to give the VS angels a look that Pecheux described as very "California girl," with soft, shiny, bouncy waves, and, of course, bronzed skin—the precise shade of which celebrity tanner Jimmy Coco referred to as "honey glaze." Yum. The angels stalked gracefully down the runway at the Lexington Avenue Armory, showing off their endless legs. I do have to say, however, that Gisele is still missed even now, and rumours of an appearance by Her Perfection-ness made for a bit of a let-down when she didn't show. I mean really, how busy could she be settled down with a NFL quarterback, a baby, stocking up on a few more ab muscles and making organic sandals or whatever? I suppose it's her dream and not mine, but if I had a career that allowed me to fly all over the world, getting paid to wear beautiful things I don't really feel like I would consider the whole "quitting" thing. Moving on to my critique:
This year's theme was entitled "A Night of a Thousand Fantasies", with 6 separate sections: Tough Love, Game On, Country Girls, Heavenly Bodies, Wild Things and PINK Planet.
Tough Love
The title of this section is aptly named, since we were a little hard on it...we're all kind of over the tattoo art look (or were never into it to begin with but accepted its existence), ie. Ed Hardy, Dom Rebel and other knockoff versions. We had been discussing exactly that right before the show started so when the first model walked down with this on, we were all groaning a bit:
HOWEVER, if you take away the wings, and look at each part of it separately, I actually feel like the heart bustier is kind of cool on its own. I don't know where I would WEAR it but I don't HATE it and if someone were to give it to me as a present, I would not be upset. That's all I'm saying.
This kimono was designed and hand made by Jeff Fender, a Broadway costume designer who also worked on Tom Ford’s top-secret new women’s collection. Fender estimated that the kimono alone took 300-plus man hours. Too bad Anja Rubik looked bored the entire time she wore it. Apparently, though, she's a new fave of Karl Lagerfeld and I'm fairly certain Chanel models do not smile. Maybe she was confused about which show she was in?
Rating: 7/10
Game On
Ah, yes, the Sporty Girl fantasy. This is clearly what a woman boxer would wear:
It's funny because 3 of my friends sitting with me have played competitive soccer, among other sports, and we joked about how awesome it would be if they showed up to the game wearing something like this. Kind of similar to those Reitman's commercials I keep referencing...HA!
The male gymnasts were pretty freaking great though. And I loved this 80s style aerobics gear. She looked so tough...loved it.
"Raaaaaaaaaawr!"
Rating: 7/10
Country Girls
Ugh, this was the worst one of the night. I'm not even posting the most heinous photos that were available...I'm posting the two BEST right here. Witness two of the hottest VS Angels trying to make this theme work:
If Alessandra Ambrosia can't pull off those sleeves, nobody can. Candice there is pretty cute in that gingham/crocheted getup though, can't lie.
Rating: 2/10
Heavenly Bodies
This is where things really started to come together because this theme was really very gorgeous-and actually wearable for the average girl. Models strutted down the catwalk wearing grecian ensembles with white, ethereal wings trailing behind them.
I believe I said "I want those wings for my wedding" when I saw these ones:
Wings are the new veil...calling it now.
During the show, they showed a part from the fittings when Chanel Iman finds out she gets to wear these wings and she was so overcome with joy she seriously started crying. Apparently this happens often when VS Angels find out they get wings to wear at the show. I don't know what to say. I suppose if someone handed me gorgeous, one of a kind Christian Louboutin heels for me to wear/keep, I can't say a few tears wouldn't be shed, so I won't judge.
Rating: 8/10
Wild Things
The second to last theme was a huge hit. Models came out wearing various animal prints, appearing on stage through a forest of tribal painted trees.
The piece de resistance was this beautiful model wearing body paint and the tiniest two piece on earth. Again, the male dancers were a great addition, following her out like she was an African Queen and they were her man servants:
Thinking of wearing this for New Years...might be a bit chilly though. Oh, wait I'm in Cancun for NYE. Shwinggg!
Rating: 9/10
PINK Planet
And finally, for the younger VS shoppers, there was the new PINK line: playful, youthful and colourful as always. While Katy Perry performed a medley of some of her new and old hits, the girls came out in a variety of outfits. This one was really hard to rate, because some of the outfits were actually pretty cute and others looked like something the Easter Bunny barfed on your rug. But, keeping in mind it's for a younger audience, I didn't give it too hard of a time.
A perfect getup for all the rain we've had lately!
Rainbow Brite called. She said this is too much.
Rating: 7/10
The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is really just a guilty pleasure for most people I know, I think because of how fundamentally simple it is. It's only an hour long with commercials, filled with musical performances, cute, friendly girls who all seem to get along and distinct, recognizable themes. VS fashion show isn't a trendsetter. It's familiar, comfortable and safe to be quite honest. Not a single ensemble went out there that could be described as "new" or "cutting edge", but I think that's why it's pretty likeable. We can all just sit back, enjoy and eat a carb...it's the one thing we have that they don't.
xo Amber
